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WELCOME BACK! DID YA MISS US?

I thought so. After our “brief” vacation, First Pick is back in black and on the attack. Like that? I thought it was catchy. Although not nearly as catchy as Mace’s celebratory BrettFavresque return to hip hop in 2004 .

Anyway, it is my belated honor to bring you the first of my many in-game diaries. I have been doing these since high school through my personal blog, The Sports Fehr, but, having decided to bring my talents to First Pick, it is now time to pop my diary cherry. I probably will get one of these done a week with no particular schedule in mind and they will vary in terms of the sports being covered but, seeing how democracy is kind of a big deal in this country (at least it was in the 18th and 19th century) I’m open to reader suggestions.

Tonight I will be covering the third game of the Braves/Nats’ series which will be broadcasted on ESPN Sunday Night Baseball at 8 PM ET. The Washington Nationals will send out their heir apparent ace Gio Gonzalez, a lefty who is in pursuit of his major league leading 20th win, and simultaneously look to win their 90th game of the season, a feat that hasn’t been accomplished since the Nats moved to DC from Montreal in 2005 and hasn’t been achieved since 1993 within the franchise. The Atlanta Braves counter with their own lefty, a sophomore in Mike Minor, a product of Vanderbilt University who looks to complete the sweep that his teammates began over friday night and saturday afternoon as they close in on the Nationals in the NL East pennant race.

Gonzalez-(W/L)=19-7, (ERA)=2.93, (WHIP)=1.13, (SO)=191

Minor- (W/L)= 8-10, (ERA)= 4.42, (WHIP)=1.2, (SO)=132

WSH Lineup= 1. Werth RF 2. Harper CF 3. Zimmerman 3B  4. LaRoche 1B  5. Desmond SS  6. Espinosa 2B  7. Moore LF  8. Suzuki C  9. Gonzalez P

ATL  Lineup= 1. Bourn CF 2. Johnson LF 3. Heyward RF  4. Jones 3B  5. Freeman 1B  6. Uggla 2b  7. Ross C  8. Simmons SS  9. Minor P

 

Lets get started shall we……

7:49- The first words uttered out Dan Shulman’s mouth were “Despite the loss of Stephen Strasburg…” Should i start a counter for the amount of time his name is mentioned. I think yes. At least they spent time describing the efficiency of the 2012 Nats offense.

7:52- I wish more people liked baseball because Baseball Tonight is the most in-depth, well-thought, and insightful (Yes I realize those are synonyms) look at an individual sport that ESPN offers. Olney+Kurkjian+Kruk+Larkin+Glanville= GOLD. Kicks the shit out NFL Live’s repetitiveness.

7:55- I’m going to try and eat my dinner in five minutes before the game starts. Time me.

8:00- Alright, I couldn’t finish. But you try to finish a plate of brisket, baked beans, and cole slaw in five minutes without savoring every bite. I doubt my mother could escape her Kansas City roots even if she was paid to. This is a woman who spends every night religiously watching the Royals play baseball on MLB Extra Innings and purchased season tickets at Arrowhead Stadium to see her Chiefs play when she got her first ever paycheck. I’ve learned a lot from my mother  but, one thing I will never take for granted is the lessons she’s taught me on loyalty/fanhood. Is fanhood a word? Whatever.

8:01- Strasburg’s name mentioned by Shulman twice in one sentence when trying to compliment Gonzalez’s performance this year. (3)

8:02- I feel like most of the baseball world forgot how bad the Braves were to close last season. Kinda got swept under the rug behind the Red Sox’ chicken and beer fiasco.

8:06- Werth steps up to the plate and were off.

8:08- Every time Bryce Harper steps up to the plate i always stop what I’m doing. Even if I’m looking at a game-cast on my iphone, I frantically refresh the page with hopes of a home run or extra base hit…. as he grounds out to Simmons for the second out.

8:11- “Strasburg shutdown” in back to back sentences from Shulman bringing our count to 5. Zimmerman lines one in to right field for the first hit of the ball game. Quick tangent: Is it just me or are one team athletes the rarest thing in sports nowadays. Even franchise quarterbacks with years of history and loyalty to a team are given the boot with the excuse that the league is a business and nothing else ( see Manning, Peyton). Zimmerman is locked up in DC til 2019 at least and has no intentions of leaving. Hes the reincarnation of Ripken minus the ridiculous durability.

8:12- “Strasburg and Harper are the most well known players” (6).

8:14- Michael Bourn is in a contract year and is playing arguably his best season. Mike Rizzo, Nats GM, expressed intrest in the outfielder during several interviews this season. AWKWARD.

8:17- The Braves hitters probably have the best two-strike approaches since the 07′ Red Sox, a team notorious for their long at-bats and extraordinarily long games.

8:20- Stoned asian in a white tall tee and cargo shorts makes what is probably the highlight of his month, listing slightly to the left and making a phenomenal catch on a Reed Johnson foul ball down the right field line. Did I mention his navajo dreads? Imagine if Troy Polamalu braided his locks and then let them grow for like 4 days. Yeah.. that long.

8:23- I can’t decide if Jason Heyward is the next Alfonso Soriano or the next Joe Carter. Either way kid can ball. My future rankings with absolutely  no statistics to back them up ….. 1.Harper 2.Giancarlo Stanton 3.Matt Kemp/Heyward 4. Big Mike Trout

8:24- Chipper steps in for his first AB of the night. How fucked up is it going to be when he comes back and plays in the American League next year as a DH for the Rangers instead of retiring. No competitor, unless they were on drugs or forced at gunpoint, retires until they absolutely have to. Coming into this game he is hitting .296 with 14 home runs and 59 rbis. Does that sound like washed up and ready to leave behind the game you love? NO! I think its ridiculous that some ballparks have honored him with video montages, surfboards, and other gifts. Like hes goddamn Joe DiMaggio or something. I say he comes back. Jones grounds out to end the 1st. One hit for both sides.

8:34- Looking back on the past few months of consumption, the Doritos Locos Tacos are only good if you are intoxicated. I don’t think there is that much of a difference between eating doritos with bean dip and cheese and grass in between. But of course if you’re hammered, a $1.70 is worth as much as the lead in a mechanical pencil. Plus you dont have to find the grass once you are at the restaurant.

8:38- Freddie Freeman could be a stunt double for the lead singer of Smash Mouth, Steve Harwell. Their facial characteristics and mannerisms are uncanny.

8:40- Dan Uggla has the fattest lip I think I have ever seen in his left cheek. I wonder what brand/what flavor? With the exception of one of my former baseball coaches,who will remain nameless, that is the largest amount of chewing tobacco I’ve ever seen someone spit on television. I thought Selig was cracking down on players dipping? Anyway, I think he should be overseas with the marines. Have u seen the forearms on this dude? Takes a walk after a Freeman strikeout.

8:42- Strasburg count has risen to 7. Give the kid a break. He’d be out there if he could. And i applaud the balls that Davey Johnson and Mike Rizzo had in shutting him down. Gotta protect your investment. It is a business nowadays anyway…

8:46- Gonzalez walks Ross to put two on with two out as Minor steps to the plate. Gio’s thrown 45 pitches thus far. Gotta knock that total down a little to be effective in the playoffs.

8:49- Gonzalez strikes out his opposing pitcher to end the inning. Still no score here at Turner Field.

8:52- If you had told me that Oakland and Baltimore would be leading the AL Wild Card spots with close to three weeks left in the season I probably would have laughed in your face. By no means are they in a position run away with their respective leads but, still it’s pretty impressive. Especially considering how the O’s have been outscored by 22 runs by their opponents this season. Gotta love baseball.

8:57- Harper lines out to left field to end the inning after strikeouts by Gonzalez and Werth. Still no score.

9:02- Bourn leads off the inning with a base knock. Johnson lines out hard to Desmond shortly after.

9:07- I’m starting to notice that the better players in baseball are wearing their socks up nowadays. Heyward pops a single by LaRoche and Bourn advances to third. Huge AB coming up for the fan-favorite Chipper. All of his plate appearances this year remind me of Rob Redford in The Natural.

9:10- Gio is coming right at him as we reach a two-two count. 70 pitches thrown.

9:11- Three-two count. Seventh for Gio. The crowd is on their feet..

9:13- And of course, Chipper knocks an RBI single into the left-center gap. Here comes the unbelievably racist and also unoriginal “Tomahawk Chop”. Where have i seen this before?

9:15- OH SHIT… I forgot the 49ers and Lions were on tonight. Looks like my first diary is going bi-racial. How fitting.. I’ll flip over to NBC once the inning is over. Another three-two count for Gio as Freeman takes the 78th pitch. You guys are in luck. two for one Sunday!

9:17- Freeman scores Heyward on a sac fly. Craig Stammen begin warming-up in the Nats’ bullpen.

9:18- Strasburg count is at 8

9:19- Gonzalez strikes out Uggla to end the inning. Braves 2- Nats 0… Now for some football…

9:20- I love the 49ers so much (Sorry Ben)! Funnest team to watch in the NFL if you love defense. And how their special teams dances together on kickoffs? I think it’s at least some what intimidating for the other team. And how they returned close to all 22 starters for this season? Gotta love great football. I’m rooting for the Harbaugh brothers to make it to the Super Bowl this year. That is if RG3 doesn’t lead the Skins’ to glory (Hah).

9:21- Not to mention two of their best players, Aldon and Justin Smith are Mizzou alumns…. M-I-Z… anyone?

9:22- Everytime I hear Javhid Best’s name I think of his concussion at Cal. “Epic”.

9:23- Back to baseball. Zimmerman works a three-one count before spraying another base hit into right field to lead of the inning.

9:26- Espinosa grounds in to a double play after a LaRoche fly-out and a Desmond single to end the  top of the inning. Braves 2- Nats 0

9:28- Flip back to NBC to hear my man, Randy “Straight Ca$h Homie” Moss, make a first down completion. So glad this man is back and playing for a contender. Check out my section of First Pick for a feature on Moss’s career written around his “retirement” last season.

9:30- Literally just said, “Suh is probably trying to keep a low profile this year”, as he makes a sack on Alex Smith for a loss of at least eight yards. Simultaenously, Gio works two quick outs to start the bottom of the fourth.

9:32- Gio strikes out Minor to end the fourth inning. Braves still up two. Pitch count: Gonzalez(92), Minor (48).

9:36- Some incredibly vague and incoherent words are spoken from Braves manager about Chipper Jones.

9:38- Terry Francona’s Montreal Expo’s rookie card is displayed as a segway into the topic of franchise relocation. Shulman lists off the remaining and unsensational Expos in the majors, of which there are 11 if I heard him correctly.

9:40- 22 of the 25 players on the current Nationals roster came up with their farm system or were acquired during Rizzo’s tenure. Thats money-ball for ya.

9:42- Werth ends the inning on an unceremonious ground ball to second. To the bottom of the fifth we go.

9:45- HAH! Its apparently bark-in-the-park night at Turner Field. Fans have brought their dogs to the game with them. Does anyone agree with me that this is the most ridiculously unplanned event in a baseball park since Disco Demolition Night at  Comiskey Park in 79′? Who is going to pick up the after the animals. Plus its raining lightly. So they are going to smell. I know this is common in other parks but come on… really. Just give out bobbleheads or bags or lower your beer prices. I guarantee you’ll have better customer satisfaction. Heyward grounds out to end the inning. Braves 2- Nats 0.

9:51-Harper leads off the inning as Buster Olney presents the viewer voting for the NL Cy Young. Apparently Gio is the favorite. To be determined..

9:53- Harper smashes a ground ruled double on one-two count. This kid is a show-stopper. The rain comes down harder. The fans look for their doggie umbrellas.

9:57- After a swinging strikeout from Zimmerman, LaRoche grounds out to second and Harper advances to third.

10:00- As we enter the tenth hour, Desmond hits a strong blooper (if there is such a thing) off the handle of his bat into center, scoring Harper. Braves 2- Nats 1.

10:02- Desmond gets caught leaning and is thrown out at second.

10:06- Gonzalez walks Chipper to lead off the sixth. The rain is starting to become a factor. Freeman then blasts a double off the wall in right-center. Second and third no outs. Gonzalez gets the hook from Davey. Stammen exits the bullpen onto the field. Looks like Gio’s quest for 20 wins will have to wait another few days.

10:11- Seriously these dogs are about to smell like wet garbage. You have to wonder  if the Umps will want a delay.

10:17- Stammen masterfully throws his slider. Gets Uggla, Ross, and Simmons in order. Braves 2- Nats 1 going into the seventh

10:20- Orel Hershiser celebrates his 54th birthday with Franconca and Shulman. Awkwardly blows out candles and shakes hands of peers. Happy birthday Orel. You cheeky bastard. Braves groundscrew eagerly works away on the diamond. The rain is dying out slightly.

10:27- Nats’ go quietly with Cory Gearrin relieving Minor of his duties. Tight game going into the bottom of the seventh.

10:29- I have seen the Firestone “We are a car company that doesn’t make cars. We are a tire company” at least eight times tonight. Didn’t their tires cause a string of accidents in the early 2000s? Seems just as phony as every Obama/Romney campaign commercial. Stammen takes the hill for the Nats and gets Eric Hinske to flyout to center.

10:33- Shulman reports that Chris Carpenter, ace of the St. Louis Cardinals, will return later in the week for the rest of the season. More bad news for Pirates fans. Not that they’ve had any good news since McCutchen got drafted. Bourn walks.

10:38- Zimmerman takes a tricky hop allowing Bourn to reach third on what would’ve been a double play ball. First and third with one out as Heyward walks to the batter’s box. Sean Burnett relieves Stammen.God only knows what Martin Prado would be doing tonight.

10:42- LaRoche takes a gamble by getting the sure out at first and fires an off-line throw home that allows Bourn to score. Braves 3- Nats 1.

10:46- After an intentional walk to Chipper, Burnett hits Freeman in the ass to load the bases. Still two outs.

10:48- Uggla rips a base hit, scoring two and Freeman is thrown out at third on a cut-off by Zimmerman. Braves 5- Nats 1. LaRoche has got to be punching himself in the dick after that half inning. Hindsight is always 20/20.

10:51- Another Taco Bell thought… Your slogan is “Live Más” which translates to “live more” in English. Just out of curiosity, who in the world at the T-bell corporate office came into a meeting and said “I have this brilliant idea for our new marketing campaign..we are going to get a renowned chef to tell us what ingrediens make Chipotle successful then have her be the spokesperson for our new menu item, based completely off of Chipotle’s bread and butter, and advertise it with a Spanish word to make it seem more exotic (not that many people speak Spanish anymore right) and follow up with a taco made out of old doritos to get every stoner and binge drinking teenager more attracted to our cheap junk.” Probably a very rich man. I do enjoy ripping Taco Bell in my diaries FYI. But I can’t deny that the crunch-wrap supreme is our greatest accomplishment since the moon landing.

10:56- Strasburg Count to 10. Shulman and Orel criticize Davey for his decision using the Braves handling Kris Medlen’s tommy john surgery.

10:58- Nats go down in order. Braves 5- Nats 1. Five hits respectively.

11:00- Do Drew Storen and Gio share the same necklace. Or are they friendship chains?

11:01- I may only be saying this as Virginia native and a Nationals fan but, I honestly believe if we had Drew Storen from game one to now he would have better numbers than Braves closer Craig Kimbrel. Call me bias and call me crazy but, Drew’s special.

11:04- Storen throws an eight pitch, three up-three-down inning and we head to the top of the ninth. Nats lead off with Zimmerman followed by LaRoche and Desmond.                       Braves 5- Nats 1.

11:07- Is it just me or is dubstep taking over the commercial industry? Every car commercial, with the exception of truck commercials, incorporates some type of techno music.

11:08- Zimmerman lines out to short for the first out of the ninth.

11:10- After LaRoche singles, Desmond pops up to Freeman for the second out. Steven Lombardozzi pinch hits for Espinosa.

11:13- Lombardozzi strikes out to end the game and the Nationals hope of 90 wins. Minor takes the win, Gio takes the loss. The Braves sweep the Nats in their final series of the season and sit five and a half games back of Washington for NL East lead.

FINAL Braves 5- Nationals-1

Final Strasburg Mentions= 10

 

By Matt Fehr